Finding new friends is never easy, but finding them after moving to a different city, a different state or even a different country – well, that’s a tough one. The where part depends on the particular city you moved to – here, we’ll help you with the how part.
Today’s golden age of globalization also happens to be the golden age of moving. Country borders, visa permits, oceans – people nowadays seem to be constantly on the move and in pursuit of new spiritual horizons to discover. What do they all have in common? They all want to socialize, quickly find friends and start enjoying their new lives.
Did you too embark on a moving journey and want to know more about how to find friends after moving? Here is what you need to know about making friends in a new city in the blink of an eye.
Your attitude matters more than the location where you think of making new friends.
The famous location, location, location is not the most important thing – at least if we’re talking about finding friends after moving. Even if you’re crazy lucky and if you managed to find the biggest socializing event for hip gals and guys who recently joined your new hometown – just being in the same boat with them doesn’t make them your friends.
As clichéd as it may sound: it’s the inside that counts. Your attitude, your energy and the things you care about are what attract people and potential friends to you. Not the mere fact that you recently moved and that you have to drink your morning coffee all by yourself.
Don’t just look for places; remember to nurture a healthy attitude towards yourself. Keep being an amazing person and focus on spreading energy that says: I’m excited to be here!
Making new friends can happen overnight, but it usually doesn’t – and that’s okay!
It’s a fact that after a certain age, making friends – in a new city or in your hometown – becomes more difficult. The older you get, the pickier you get about who you spend your time with. Your priorities shift, you’re busy being a good colleague, climbing up the career ladder, being a loving parent and partner – it’s perfectly normal to feel like not just anyone that seems to be a decent person is supposed to be an important part of your life.
Embrace the power of effective communication.
Good communication skills are worth their weight in gold. Whether it’s a job interview or whether you’re trying to make friends in a new city you have lived in for just a couple of weeks – knowing how to turn communications into enriching and pleasant experiences can make your life a lot more enjoyable.
If you think your communication skills aren’t perfect yet or if you think that this is what is preventing you from making new friends, bookmark this helpful TED talk from Celeste Headlee, where she described 10 ways to have a better conversation and make the most out of every encounter.
Find one, and you’ll find them all.
It is difficult to find friends after moving, but there is also one very comforting fact behind it: you don’t necessarily need to find plenty of new friends in order to establish a new circle of friends.
Why? Because that one friend you found and like to spend time with also has friends of his or her own, which you could get to know as well. And if your friend likes them, chances are that you too will like them!
Remember: you’re trying to make friends in a new city, not find the Dalai Lama.
You should be looking for friends and new acquaintances, not for one person that will end your excruciating attempts to make friends in a new city. It’s normal and healthy to have multiple friends, with whom you do only certain things.
You may have found a buddy that enjoys jam sessions as much as you do, or a colleague that works in the same building and also likes to walk her dog in the morning – great! Spend time with them, but keep in mind that one person probably won’t fit into that scheme you call “perfect friend”. Combine and enjoy the company of different people.
Follow your passion.
There is no better way to meet interesting and like-minded people than doing something you really enjoy. It doesn’t even have to be something you’ve been doing before – why not take up something new and exciting? Being spontaneous and open is a great way to find friends after moving!
Remember to return the favor.
Even though you might feel like listening to schmaltzy songs about loneliness during the first couple of days, weeks, months – you’ll be surprised how quickly things can turn around and how fast you can be surrounded by the exact people you’ve been hoping to meet (first step after that: remove Akon’s “lonely” from your playlist).
Jessica Biber shared some great tips in her article about making friends in a new city, from which I would like to point out the following: once this period is over, remember to help out those who now go through what you went through when you moved.
You could, for example, offer them tips on great places to find and make friends in your new city, introduce them to some of your friends, and tell them what you’ve learned. Were there any ..
- Events which occur on a regular basis where you particularly managed to make new friends?
- Sports clubs where you had a great time and met great people?
- Courses where you learned something interesting and came across a whole bunch of cool people?
Make them feel welcome – one of those tips might make the difference and get them to actually make some friends in their new city. After all, good comes to those who do good!